I am over here! making my dreams come true!!!!
The most courageous thing I’ve ever done…. March 28, 2007
When Nick and I shoot I try very hard not to think about my answer to the question of the week (see previous entry) before he turns the camera on me… often I am completely surprised by what comes out of my mouth.. and generally that spontaneity results in really, really honest answers… but not always. When reviewing the footage, I can always tell if I am not telling the full truth by the the way I hold my mouth… if I am holding back in any you can almost touch the tension….
so… if “producing my own show, because I finally decided that I was enough, and didn’t need anyone else to decide that for me”, wasn’t the most courageous thing I’ve ever done what is? (more…)
My Academy Award Speech March 5, 2007
To answer my own question (see previous post), uchhch… I cringe to say it… its such a damn cliche… and I know! there are so many awards with so much more import…
I dream of winning an Academy Award.
But where once any old Academy Award would do…. now my dream is far more specific, and far more meaningful to me. I want to win an Academy Award for the film I wrote… for the film that is both my passion and my purpose, my biggest challenge, and the reason my life has taken me down such a bumpy and ohh so painful sometimes journey….
My Academy Award speech…
There I stand on that huge stage, trembling with excitement, with joy….with utter relief… I take in the people, the lights the music… I search out my husband…there he is.. I mouth “I love you” (he is crying too, knowing him)… (more…)
Do I play life safe, or am I a risk taker? February 25, 2007
So.. my answer to this weeks’ question of the week, (see previous post) ahh.. I take huge risks… but not big enough.. yes my vodcast is exciting and I believe in it and I know it is paving the way to the rest of my life…. but I am an actor… i am an actor who has a phenomenal screenplay that is partially funded… key word partially… I am seemingly paralyzed by my inability to continue to move forward and raise the rest of the funds for my film.. a film which is by definition a huge risk….and yet the risk I KNOW I AM MEANT TO TAKE… and really… I have no doubts about the possibilities of this project… that it can have a huge impact, that it can alter lives, that it can make money for all of its investors and pave the way for the rest of my future and my creative ventures… but to go to people and actually come out and say.. Hi… I am Kathryn and I am worth your 10,000 or 50,000 or 100,000 investment… that is a risk it seems I dare not take… And what am I risking? I’ve got nothing to lose and the world to gain… I guess I am risking facing the fact that I have to do it all myself… no one is ever going to step in and make my dreams come true.. only me… a world without a fairy godmother….
What is the most valuable, and the least valuable thing you learned from your family? February 20, 2007
Families…. we all got em… lots of us grew up with em… and yup… they taught us a lot… some would say everything. How about you? What would you pass down to your kids?
What is the most valuable thing you learned from your family? What is the least valuable thing? We want to know….
Where are the women on the internet? February 18, 2007
My blog started because of my video podcast, which started because of my website, which started because of my film, which started because I felt moved to create entertainment that I feel is profoundly lacking in hollywood (the amazing “Little Miss Sunshine” being a rare and wonderful exception).
I will get to my film (partially funded low budget digital feature) another time… but early on in the process I was enamored with the possibilities that the internet created for those of us who want to break the mold – to make a film based on our own passion and creativity, rather than Hollywood’s star based high budget, often empty creative system- a film that was smart and daring and inspiring and moving- and to market it through the unending opportunity of the internet… a film that….through the power of the internet… would make money for investors and be the seed for a production company whose mission would be to create uplifting entertainment that informs and inspires the human spirit while remaining intellectually, creatively and emotionally challenging.
My goal… to create an audience around the ideas of the film before we even shot a frame. A user generated social website, www.ifnotnow.net, was created… …. purpose…. to help people uncover some of the perhaps self-conscious thoughts they may hold onto that might in fact keep them from having the very things they say they want most out of their lives. Our method… a thought provoking question of the week that users could answer on their own personal page and which other users could read and respond to.
And then… why not a video podcast highlighting the same question of the week? Wow! What the hell was I thinking… I joke, because I am so proud of my vodcast however… the work! Didn’t even know how to run a camera when we started and had never edited a frame in my life. Now a good three days of my week- sometimes more- are dedicated to shooting, editing and posting….
And the response has been great… we have been featured on major sites, we have had hundreds of thousands of views… and i really think I am adding something positive to society….
My question… so where are all the women? I mean I have found many but not on a regular basis… and when you hit the major video sites so many of the popular and featured videos are geared towards men, most specifically young men…Now of course… this makes sense… and yet I know there must be people out there who are looking for a different kind of entertainment. Videos that motivate and ignite and inspire while still being sophisticated and at least a little edgy….. That is what my partner Nick and I are trying to create. That’s what I want to see – i mean hey… not all the time… give me some cats and some tech and some comedy too…… but how do I find these folks? Any ideas? I would be so grateful for the input!!!!
passion and self-empowerment February 8, 2007
I have been waiting to begin this blog until I understood CSS and could make my blog look like my website, I am a total html newbie (notice no links in sidebar etc etc)….. but I was so moved and inspired by the Frontline story The Hole in the Wall that I just found on Scobleizer that I have to write.
Go read this amazing story about how access to computers has brought a new sense of self empowerment to children in an Indian slum and is altering what once seemed like a hopeless future. While my life and experiences are light years away from these gorgeous children’s (I am a white thirty something woman who grew up in a middle class family on the east coast of the USA) I too have found that computers have changed my life, my sense of self.. my sense of what is possible and no… I am not kidding… are slowly making all my dreams come true.
I am the least likely candidate to be so moved and passionate about the power of the internet….a female who grew up in the 80’s, I am an actor and writer.. I was always drawn to the arts… I was never good at math, didn’t even touch a computer until my senior year of college (yes I went to college with a typewriter), literally can not draw a decent stick figure and who never in a trillion year would have imagined myself a “techie”… and then I got a mac.
I have been in love with this company and my computer for over ten years now and thanks to all the possibilities my mac and its software have created for me, I have slowly but surely gone from being an actress who waited for other people to make my dreams come true, to a producer with a paritially funded feature film that I will also be acting in, and a video podcast that is getting attention all over the net (thank you imovie!). I produce podcasts for other businesses as well and I have taught myself graphic design (thank you photoshop and indesign) and have a small graphics business and use those skills daily in my producing….I am currently teaching myself html and css as well- and am blown away by how with time, discipline, passion and determination, computers and the internet are indeed “That with which you can do anything” as noted by one little boy in India.
What all this adds up to….. simple self-empowerment.. simple I say..and yet I believe the most crucial aspect of a happy fullfilled life. It is my goal to one day be the “oprah” of self-empowerment”, and I have a website and video podcast dedicated to that goal….but my guru has in fact been the computer. And hey… if this 30 something, previously computer illeterate artsy chick can do it…. everyone can!