I am over here! making my dreams come true!!!!
The most courageous thing I’ve ever done…. March 28, 2007
When Nick and I shoot I try very hard not to think about my answer to the question of the week (see previous entry) before he turns the camera on me… often I am completely surprised by what comes out of my mouth.. and generally that spontaneity results in really, really honest answers… but not always. When reviewing the footage, I can always tell if I am not telling the full truth by the the way I hold my mouth… if I am holding back in any you can almost touch the tension….
so… if “producing my own show, because I finally decided that I was enough, and didn’t need anyone else to decide that for me”, wasn’t the most courageous thing I’ve ever done what is? (more…)
My Academy Award Speech March 5, 2007
To answer my own question (see previous post), uchhch… I cringe to say it… its such a damn cliche… and I know! there are so many awards with so much more import…
I dream of winning an Academy Award.
But where once any old Academy Award would do…. now my dream is far more specific, and far more meaningful to me. I want to win an Academy Award for the film I wrote… for the film that is both my passion and my purpose, my biggest challenge, and the reason my life has taken me down such a bumpy and ohh so painful sometimes journey….
My Academy Award speech…
There I stand on that huge stage, trembling with excitement, with joy….with utter relief… I take in the people, the lights the music… I search out my husband…there he is.. I mouth “I love you” (he is crying too, knowing him)… (more…)
Do I play life safe, or am I a risk taker? February 25, 2007
So.. my answer to this weeks’ question of the week, (see previous post) ahh.. I take huge risks… but not big enough.. yes my vodcast is exciting and I believe in it and I know it is paving the way to the rest of my life…. but I am an actor… i am an actor who has a phenomenal screenplay that is partially funded… key word partially… I am seemingly paralyzed by my inability to continue to move forward and raise the rest of the funds for my film.. a film which is by definition a huge risk….and yet the risk I KNOW I AM MEANT TO TAKE… and really… I have no doubts about the possibilities of this project… that it can have a huge impact, that it can alter lives, that it can make money for all of its investors and pave the way for the rest of my future and my creative ventures… but to go to people and actually come out and say.. Hi… I am Kathryn and I am worth your 10,000 or 50,000 or 100,000 investment… that is a risk it seems I dare not take… And what am I risking? I’ve got nothing to lose and the world to gain… I guess I am risking facing the fact that I have to do it all myself… no one is ever going to step in and make my dreams come true.. only me… a world without a fairy godmother….
What is the most valuable, and the least valuable thing you learned from your family? February 20, 2007
Families…. we all got em… lots of us grew up with em… and yup… they taught us a lot… some would say everything. How about you? What would you pass down to your kids?
What is the most valuable thing you learned from your family? What is the least valuable thing? We want to know….
Where are the women on the internet? February 18, 2007
My blog started because of my video podcast, which started because of my website, which started because of my film, which started because I felt moved to create entertainment that I feel is profoundly lacking in hollywood (the amazing “Little Miss Sunshine” being a rare and wonderful exception).
I will get to my film (partially funded low budget digital feature) another time… but early on in the process I was enamored with the possibilities that the internet created for those of us who want to break the mold – to make a film based on our own passion and creativity, rather than Hollywood’s star based high budget, often empty creative system- a film that was smart and daring and inspiring and moving- and to market it through the unending opportunity of the internet… a film that….through the power of the internet… would make money for investors and be the seed for a production company whose mission would be to create uplifting entertainment that informs and inspires the human spirit while remaining intellectually, creatively and emotionally challenging.
My goal… to create an audience around the ideas of the film before we even shot a frame. A user generated social website, www.ifnotnow.net, was created… …. purpose…. to help people uncover some of the perhaps self-conscious thoughts they may hold onto that might in fact keep them from having the very things they say they want most out of their lives. Our method… a thought provoking question of the week that users could answer on their own personal page and which other users could read and respond to.
And then… why not a video podcast highlighting the same question of the week? Wow! What the hell was I thinking… I joke, because I am so proud of my vodcast however… the work! Didn’t even know how to run a camera when we started and had never edited a frame in my life. Now a good three days of my week- sometimes more- are dedicated to shooting, editing and posting….
And the response has been great… we have been featured on major sites, we have had hundreds of thousands of views… and i really think I am adding something positive to society….
My question… so where are all the women? I mean I have found many but not on a regular basis… and when you hit the major video sites so many of the popular and featured videos are geared towards men, most specifically young men…Now of course… this makes sense… and yet I know there must be people out there who are looking for a different kind of entertainment. Videos that motivate and ignite and inspire while still being sophisticated and at least a little edgy….. That is what my partner Nick and I are trying to create. That’s what I want to see – i mean hey… not all the time… give me some cats and some tech and some comedy too…… but how do I find these folks? Any ideas? I would be so grateful for the input!!!!